Two or Three Words

my phone lit up and your familiar ringtone buzzed,
to the delight of my ears.
i quickly scanned over the text,
not paying much attention until my eyes met two words:
"break up."
at that moment i realized what you sent me.
my father was in the middle of teaching me a game,
and i was quickly mastering it before i got the text.
the text that made me rise to my feet,
subconsciously gathering my breakfast plates and utensils,
laying them gently into the sink with a sorrowful look.
my father questioned me on my appearance,
and i returned with three words:
"we broke up."
tears began to stream down my face as it settled in,
in the same way the cold settles into your bones.
i stormed outside, phone-in-hand, to call you.
you answered with two words:
"what's wrong?"
for you could hear my sniffles through the call.
i returned the question in a different tone,
the words darting off my tongue harshly.
we chatted for a few minutes,
more you talking and me crying.
you told me i was one of the most important people,
and that one day you'd regret this decision.
you ended the call with another three words:
"i love you."
how grotesque of you to speak those words.
the same words you whispered to me many times,
during the times when you looked at me.
a look like i was your whole world.
well your eyes are deceiving and your tongue lies.
the cold's been settling in for a few hours now.
and i'm starting to heat up and realize a few things:
i can survive without you (i've done it before),
i am beautiful without you telling me so,
and i am worth more than two or three words.
you can't bring my world crumbling down.
only i determine what or who can destroy me.
(and it definitely won't be you, for the record.)
so this is done and gone, and here's two words:
"good bye."
and here's another two words:
"thank you."
and when you slither back, asking me to come back,
here's a good three words for that time:
"had your chance."
oh! and here's another three words:
"sucks for you."

-h.m.

Rue 21, Ross, and Target Haul

Hey everybody! This is my second haul, and I feel so accomplished as a blogger!

As you may have guessed, I shopped all the sales. Since I've been shopping before and I knew the places we (me and my cousin) were going pretty well, I was quite at ease. I still took SUPER long to, again, comb through the sales sections. However, I got really great sales and I wanted to show what I bought!

This is just a personal note, but I love looking at other people's hauls. I love having an insight into someone's fashion taste and seeing how much they want or are willing to pay for certain clothing items. After I post this, I will probably look for hauls from the stores I went to. No shame.

Mid Rise Long Jegging
Rue 21
Originally $19.99, Paid $3.00

Navy Marled Jogger
Ross
Paid $8.99

Basic Black Leggings
Ross
Paid $4.99

Heather Blue Slim Jogger
Target
Originally $19.99, Paid $9.98

Fairisle Black Christmas Skater Dress
Rue 21
Originally $14.99, Paid $2.00

Crochet Fringe Crossbody Bag
Rue 21
Originally $25.00, Paid $5.00 

I did pay full price for a few things here, but I shopped at places with more reasonably priced items, so it wasn't that big of a deal. I really wanted to buy more winter/autumn clothes since right now, in summer, everything is on sale. I felt super excited to buy my Christmas dress and some new bottoms to wear during the colder months (joggers are seriously a staple for me).

Again, I totally saved a bunch of money and didn't spend as much money as I did last time. And I got some pretty great stuff that's typically super expensive (dresses, purses, joggers). Clearance and sales racks to the rescue! 

Original Price Total : $93.95

Sale Price Total :       $33.96

Saved :                       $59.99

wowie.

-h.m.

July 2015 Favorites

Hey everybody! I'm starting to lean towards more beauty/fashion related posts; however, that doesn't mean I won't still do tags and discussions and such. And because this is my first "favorites" post, some of the things I mention will have been things I've been enjoying for months and maybe even years. Nonetheless, they will be my favorites. So let's get on with it. :)

1. Favorite Daily Product

Studio 35 Beauty Mint Facial Masque - around $6

This facial mask is my saving grace on bad skin days. You do need to let this mask sit for a while, so after I do my usual skin routine and I realize that I have some extra time, applying this mask really does the trick to my skin. Immediately after washing off the face mask, you can see a significant change to any redness, skin irritation, and acne that may have appeared over night.

2. Favorite Shower Product

Twilight Woods Shower Gel - $12.50

As I write this, I'm smelling the product and ahhhh. It smells so good! I use about a tablespoon of this stuff on my loofah and the subtle scent stays on my skin until my next shower. The shower gel has a sweet smell (haha that rhymed wowie) with a hint of berry. Apparently, the smell is supposed to be like the woods at night, but if the woods smelled that good every night, I would live outside. (By the way, I got the gel for half off. Pretty sweet deal! Get it? Sweet? Like the smell? I'll show myself out.)

3. Favorite Hair Product

Organic Coconut Oil - around $8

Coconut oil has been the latest hair treatment craze, so I indulged and bought some. I've only tried a hair treatment once, and I accidentally added too much to my roots and my hair ended up being a greasy mess. However, after I properly showered and re-shampooed my hair, the effects were amazing. I can tell that the ends of my hair (which get the least amount of nutrients) are healthier than ever. If you ever want to indulge in the coconut oil trend, remember these two things: (1) less is more and (2) away from the roots unless you wash the oil out really well after two or three hours.

4. Favorite TV Show

That 70's Show

That 70's Show reminds me of when I was younger and used to watch this show with my parents. This show is hilarious but also very dramatic. I didn't realize it growing up, but now, as I binge watch the entire series and watch the episodes in order, I can see all the different plot twists in the series. I also love that it's set in the 70's. Good show to watch, if you're a teenager or interested in watching a show about teenagers.

5. Favorite Song

Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

The name "Secondhand Serenade" makes me think of a really hardcore band that only sings about broken hearts and how love is never fair, but after listening to this song, I'm in love. There's something about romance that attracts me because I now realize that I like romance movies, romance novels, and love songs. And this song just seems to stand out among all of the other love songs that I've listened to. When I have my Pandora playing, I'm usually doing something distracting (like reading or going through social media) that draws my attention away from actually listening to the song. However, this song and the overall rhythm to it made me put down whatever I was doing at the time and pay attention. It's that good.

6. Favorite Pair of Shoes

Navy Blue Patterned Flats - $5

Sorry for the bad picture of these cute shoes. I got these flats on sale while searching for a pair of heels. These flats were originally $17 (which is ridiculous in my opinion), but the sale makes them perfect. I wear a lot of darker colors, even in the summer, and I just recently picked up a navy blue dress from H&M that goes really well with these shoes. So there's that.

7. Favorite Clothing Item

Lightweight Knit Black and White Top w/ Pocket - $8.80

I featured this in my first haul. And I never really got into the style of this shirt until the summer when I was looking for lightweight clothes that didn't stick to my skin in the hot, sweaty heat. I've been recently loving stripes and monochrome (always) this summer, and this shirt is my go-to when I need a nice top to go over a pair of shorts. (I also got this shirt on sale at Forever 21 for around $4, which is less than half the original price.)

8. Favorite Book

A Bend in the Road - Nicholas Sparks

I finished this book in June, but since I've never actually done a "favorites" post before, I'm going to include this book because it was absolutely amazing. All of the books I've read by Nicholas Sparks I have loved, and this book did not disappoint me. I am a huge Nicholas Sparks and romance fan. If you're a romance person, or are trying to get into romance novels, this one's for you. (To note, I got this and around 15 other books in a set for $10.)

9. Favorite Movie

Ant-Man

My boyfriend and I went to go see this film together. He's a huge comic book fan and I grew up watching Marvel movies with my dad. I mostly went just to spend time with him, but I partly went because I was interested in the story line and PAUL. RUDD. That is all. (Phoebe's Mike from "Friends" if you're confused.)

10. Favorite Room Decor

Honolulu 3-Wick Candle

CANDLES. I honestly love the thought of a warm candle in the autumn. And it's not smart to burn candles in the middle of the summer (hot + hot), but they are still really pretty and photogenic and make my room smell nice. Sue me for liking nice smells. (Also got this $22.50 candle for $10. I'm a discount person.)


This took a really long time to type up and take decent pictures for (took around 3 straight days). However, I really enjoyed this and I look forward to rereading it in the future. Like something I mentioned? Comment below!

bye and thanks again!

-h.m.

Confidence and Courage

hey everybody. new serious post that has really struck my heart. keep reading.

Introduction

I watch YouTube videos constantly. I enjoy watching different people and learning their opinions or watching their life as it progresses before their viewers. I love when my friends make YouTube videos and I can watch new perspectives of their lives other than social medias. A specific friend, Skylar, started making consistent YouTube videos that I was always enjoy watching. She uploaded this video on July 23, 2015.

Stop With The Negativity

I couldn't believe some of the things this amazing girl said in this video. People were commenting on her videos, pointing out her "flaws" and picking out things they didn't like about her.

First off, I love Skylar. She is so friendly and beautiful. Her Instragram feed is so gorgeous, and she doesn't let anyone's comments about her being "fat" or having a "big forehead" let her down.

How I Connect to This

With my size and appearance, I've been called many names. Here are a few:

These are three things that people have called me that have bothered me the most. And that's because they're picking on things I can't change. I can't afford laser eye surgery to perfect my eyes, I can't afford facial surgery to change the way I look, and I can't change the fact that I eat small portions and weigh less than the majority of others. I'm not bragging about being underweight or having glasses- they're just things that I've lived with for years and have learned to live with.

Is it polite for someone to call me anorexic? No. Anorexia is nothing to joke about. That's why any insult is nothing to joke about. It may affect the victim's life completely and swamp their thoughts constantly. Imagine that everyone calls you fat, and you believe yourself to be fat. Now, you have a label hanging over you, and you start to think of ways to cover up the label, whether it's by wearing clothes that cover more skin or wearing more makeup. Don't ever place a label on someone that they have to cover up.

Here's an important thing to know through this post:

Don't let them define you.

have a good day everyone xx

-h.m.

Social Media Displays of Affection (SMDA)

Hey everybody! I know it's been a while since I've last posted, but since this blog is more for me than for others, I'm gonna post whenever I want. I'm also not going to feel pressured to post consecutively.

So! Today, I wanted to talk about people posting lovey dovey things on Instagram (I know people do it on every social platform, but I see it mainly on Instagram). I've been seeing it a lot more lately, what with hormones kicking in and everyone becoming obsessed with boys and girls and relationships. Here's some major points and questions and conversations I want to have about this topic :

Do I agree with it?

Yes! I adore it. Every once and a while, a #wcw or #mcm is perfectly fine (and usually adorable). People tend to post about their significant other because they take pride in their relationship and want to show off their boy/girl to the world. It's especially cute when someone posts, "Spent the day with him/her." Like, yes! Show off how much fun you two have together.

What's the problem?

My problem with this is when people post things I don't need to see or someone over-post their relationship. "Things I don't need to see" basically includes picture of you two making out, lip-locking, or those pictures where only the bottom half of your face is shown and I can only see you guys swapping spit. Gross. 

Also, posting too much of a relationship is annoying. A relationship should be about two people who care about each other being together, not being each other. I know you eat and sleep and burp and stuff, so post things about your personal life more than pictures of you and your man. I have a total of 25 pictures on my Instagram account, and none of them feature me and my boyfriend. (I have one picture of flowers he gave me, but even with that, I put a simple caption that wasn't too in-your-face.)

Do I do it?

Absolutely not. My boyfriend and I have spoken about it, and we both have decided that our relationship will be kept away from the Instagram posts. We still acknowledge our relationship, but we never post anything about each other directly. This may change. However, I refuse to be that half-picture-of-only-looking-at-us-making-out couple. GrOsS !!1!

Okay, I just had to get that out. It's been bothering me and I wanted to express my feelings about this. Thanks for listening to me rant. What are you feeling about this? LEAVE IT IN THE COMMENTS :)

bye for now !!

-h.m.

What I'm Thankful For

Hey everybody! HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I like Thanksgiving, but it's really just a pre-Christmas. It's a step closer to Jingle Bells and sleigh rides (and hopefully snow *sigh*). I haven't seen snow in so long!

Well, today I want to talk about what I'm thankful for, in honor of Thanksgiving. So, let's get started!

Happy Thanksgiving! :)

1. God. This is a bit of a cliche, but praying and reading my Bible have sometimes been the only things that have kept my mind straight. It's great to have someone bigger than the universe to depend on.

2. My friend Bee. Her real name isn't Bee, but she knows who I'm talking about. She's honestly like a sister to me. Bee means so much to me, even if I never really tell her how much she means to me. Sista from another mista.

3. My friend Karrot. She's like a mother to me. Not in the harsh way I could use that word, but in the way she cares about me and helps me through things. When I was sick, she urged me to come to terms that I need help to feel better. Karrot's the bomb.com.

4. My friend Biggums. Yet again, I'm not using any real names. But this one friend has been my best friend for about a year now. It's sad to say we're drifting apart a bit now, but we'll hopefully be reunited soon.

5. My parents. They've been there for me since I was little, and they continue to remind me that they'll always be there for me. My parents believe in me and support me through all the things I do and want to do.

6. My music teacher. She's taught me to express myself in a new way that had once seemed alien. Now, music is just a sixth sense to me. I appreciate how she's put up with me through the years, and I couldn't have asked for a better teacher to introduce me to my saxophone.

7. My other friends. There's really too many to name. This spot is for the rest of them. Each and every one of my friends mean the world to me, whether they know it or not. I pray for each friend and constantly thank God for everything they've given me. My friends have inspired me to speak my mind and be myself.

8. My church family. They have supported me through my hardest times, whether it be the pastors or the congregation. They've created a place for me to come happily and gather with new friends to talk about our faith. I love them so.

9. Bands, actors, actresses, and YouTubers. This is the spot for the people that have greatly impacted my life. I've never met any of them, but that doesn't matter. Their personality, music, or character has inspired me to be a better person and to strive to get more for myself. I could never thank each and every one of them, but I wish I could.

10. You. One of the things on the top of my "Thankful For" list is my readers. Even if you don't think about it, you encourage me to write (well, type) about what I love and like in my life. Thank you for reading, commenting, and caring. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving and a tasty Turkey Day. :)

Just a reminder. <3

This wasn't everything, but I didn't want to bore you with a numerous list. Comment below what you're thankful for! I'd love to talk to you. 

ciao for now! xx

-h.m.

My Favorite YouTubers

Hey everybody! Lately, I've been quite busy. However, I still find time to blog and read blogs and watch my YouTubers. YouTube has become a huge inspiration and motivation for me, and it has really taken an effect (or affect? I can never tell) on my surroundings. I'm friends with people who watch the same Youtubers as me, and I often quote videos or talk about YouTubers like they're family and friends. Even if they live on a different continent, and I've never met them.

So today, I decided to talk to y'all about the YouTubers I watch and why I love them so :

(These are not in any particular order.)

1. Zoella (Zoe Sugg)

Zoe Sugg is, by far, one of my favorite YouTubers. She's my favorite beauty/fashion/style blogger. On her YouTube, she creates a range of videos from fun tags to Favorites videos. Zoe is just very charismatic and
friendly, and she is extremely inspirational, too. Recently, she wrote a book entitled "Girl Online" and launched her own beauty line (ZoellaBeauty) this year. Zoella is going far in her life, and I love to watch her grow in her life and business.
She's the sister of Joe Sugg (ThatcherJoe), and she's dating Alfie Deyes (PointlessBlog).

Video to Get You Started !

2. Tyler Oakley

Tyler is my queen. His videos are always so silly, and they brighten my day. He's also inspirational. Tyler Oakley has interviewed Michelle Obama, met Barack Obama, and gotten numerous awards for his works with the Trevor Project. He strongly supports LGBT rights, being gay himself. However, he's not one of those people that tries to throw his gay pride at you in every sentence he speaks. Tyler supports his cause through his own way, and I love him for that.

Video to Get You Started !

3. Danisnotonfire (Dan Howell)

I've been watching Dan ever since I was little. He just has a honest component to all of his videos that everyone can relate to. And while being hilarious in each of his videos, the content is just amazing. He may not post as regularly as I would hope; however, whenever Dan does upload, it's always worth the wait.

He is roommates with AmazingPhil. They make videos together on each other's channels, have a joint gaming channel, and also have a radio show together.

Video to Get You Started !

4. AmazingPhil (Phil Lester)

Phil reminds me of Dan. I guess that's why they're friends. He's really sweet and describes his life through his videos. If you've heard of it, Phil started the "7 Second Challenge". Phil is extremely creative, and the video I've suggested for you is one of my favorites. Phil has come so far from the inexperienced YouTuber he used to be. He's now an amazing and inspirational YouTuber with just over 2 million subscribers. I'm extremely proud of him.

He is roommates with Danisnotonfire, also. (They're both so cute, eep!)

Video to Get You Started !

5. Jenna Marbles

Everyone's going to know this amazing woman. Jenna Marbles/Mourey is the most popular female YouTuber there is. She has just over 14 million subscribers. Jenna's videos are so her, and no one could ever remake them. Another cool thing about this almost-30-year-old woman is that she constantly changes her hair color. Jenna is so confident in her skin and hilarious that she's irresistible. I love her and have been watching her for years.

Jenna is dating Julien Solomita, and they're adorable together.

Video to Get You Started !

Hope you enjoyed reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it. I love these people oh-so-much.

ciao for now!

-h.m.