This topic has been stirring inside of me for a while, and it's honestly bothering me how much it has taken place in my life. The topic today is: fake and/or bad friends.
I love that quote. (I found it online. Credit to: searchquotes.com.) I wanted to post some kind of quote for this subject, but I couldn't find the perfect one until right now.
I think the problem with my friendships is that I try too hard. (Most of the time. You'll see.) I am "willing to do much more for them." My mother is the same way. We both go out of the way to try and make our friends happy; we try to change up our plans to make ours friends happy. It just sucks to feel like the second choice all the time, ya know? Whenever I want to do something with a friend, the something is put second. It's always, "If I'm not doing anything else than I'll consider it." Ridiculous! If you asked me to go to the movies, I would twist my schedule's head off just to go with you because I'm that kind of person. After I realized that I did that for about 80% of my friends, I combed through my options a little more.
That's where I bring the title into play: the Golden Rule of Friends. This is going to become a thing for me from now on. I'll start examining myself too, don't worry. We all know that the Golden Rule is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." That means, in kiddie terms, that if you steal a toy from someone, they now have the motive to steal from you. However, if you share a toy with someone, they then have the motive to share with you.
Think about that while you think about your friendships and/or relationship(s). Think about each person in your circle of friends and how much each person would do for you. If your mate is willing to go out and buy ice cream for you at midnight to soothe your sweet tooth, you should be willing to pick up a milkshake for them at McDonald's, if you happen to go. This applies even to events and plans. Begin to notice how often people invite you to things. If your best friend doesn't put you at the top of the guest list, then don't put them on the top of yours. That's just going to hurt you in the end because (I'm so sorry to say this) that means that you're a better and more devoted friend the (s)he is.
The truth is chilling in this blog today.
I wish I would have learned this lesson earlier. Two years ago probably would have been a better memory for me. Awkward life flashback time!
Once upon a time, I went to a new school (boring). I met (let's call her A) A and her friend (let's call him B) B. A and B had been best friends for a long time, and I sandwiched myself into their group (not as boring). A and I became best friends, while I began dating B (okay, this gets interesting). A soon grew angry at me for dating B, and A soon began to grow suspicious that I didn't even want to be friends with her anymore. Lie #1. B and I had an amazing relationship, although it did have to come to a temporary break because I have boy trust issues. A, B, and I were still all best friends. A and I slept over at each other's houses and went out to dinner with each other's families. Then, I began inviting B to come along. A accused me of using her to only to hang out more with B. Lie #2. After B and I got back together, A just grew more and more angry. I can't remember which ended first: the A friendship or the B relationship. In the end, they both ended and it was hard on me. On the other hand, it was instrumental in who I am.
(If A and B read that and know who they are, then hello! We all had good times and thank you for that. Thank you for that one year of mind numbing happiness, even if it was not going to last. ((And for readers, A and I are still friendly. We just don't really hang out. She has new friends and so do I. I wish her a happy and blessed life. B and I are still friendly. I don't see him much anymore. He has a new girlfriend, he's happy, and I'm alright. I also wish him a happy and blessed life.)))
One thing that I do want to add is that A and B were more into the friendships and relationship I had with them. I believe that plays a part in why it all didn't work out. I had just come from knowing everyone to knowing no one, so my trust and confidence levels were not in balance; thus, I was not the best friend I could be. I tried, though. I tried to have good anniversary and birthday and Christmas gifts. There was just something that didn't fit with me and them, and I was the one to sooner realize it. Every one's okay now, though. Don't fret, readers!
Out of those two, a new friendship grew. It wasn't really strong until the month of June. In my introduction I called her Biggums, because that's what we call each other and it's an inside joke. Biggums and I are best friends, and I believe the reason is that we're both in 50/50. We're able to compromise and move schedules and such, so it all works out for us.
In conclusion, examine your friends and potential husbands. Make sure that you're in it just as much as they are, and vice versa. If you find something wrong, either talk it out or end it. Simple as that.
ciao for now!
-h.f.
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